I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
