:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
40s are totally the cure
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
