I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
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She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
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Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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