i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Randomize