Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
