I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
