things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
