you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I can't turn off my feet"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
