He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
