There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
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I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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