Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
