You're earring is so big in my mouth
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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