If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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