so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
