How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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