As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
