I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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