she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
COCAINE IS GR8
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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