Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
