and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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