Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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