dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
