I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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