SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
