it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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