oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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