tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
