i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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