think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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