Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I deserve this hangover.
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