quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Sorry about my life...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
