haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
