I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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