He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
