Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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