omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
wow bdsm is so cute
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
