He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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