You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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