Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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