I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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