Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
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How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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