She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
its liver damage thursday
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