Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
