? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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