Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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