I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
you never un-have a 4some
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
