Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
