It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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