Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
