why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
