so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
