You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
