Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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