I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize