How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
