We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
