Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
