I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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