You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
