I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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