mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
