I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize