U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
