evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
