I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
